It's Enough For Me
by fangirl1005
Summary: Something happens to Killian and Emma's unborn child and Killian breaks down. Only Emma can bring him back. There's only one problem. How do you save someone who doesn't want to be saved?
1. Chapter 1

**Emma POV**

I was 15 weeks pregnant. I couldn't wait! I would finally get to do all the things I missed out on with Henry, like first walk, first word and stuff. We had told my parents, Henry and all close friends first, but word spread pretty quickly because I was 'the saviour'. Me and Killian had got most of the babies room ready and all the cot and pram etc. because we just couldn't wait! He probably didn't look like a father, but I knew he would be, he would do anything for me and our child.

It had been a normal day and me and Killian went to bed. I woke up about 2am with a dull pain in my lower back. I assumed I had just been working too hard and I was aching all over to be honest. It wasn't until I started getting cramps in my stomach that I became worried.

"Ahh!" I cried out in pain. Killian woke quickly and held my hand.

"What's wrong love? Is it the baby?"

"I don't know, but it hurts!" I looked at him and he was staring down at the sheets with a worried, pretty scared, look. I followed his eyes down and saw what he was staring at. The White sheets were covered in deep red.

"Oh my god!"

"Come on Swan,, we need to go to the hospital"

I nodded and tried to get up but my legs were shaking. He just swung me up in his arms and rushed out the door. He gently placed me in my bug then ran round to the other side. He started the car and raced to the hospital.

"Are you okay Emma?"

I remained silent and thought the worst.

When we pulled up at the hospital, Killian picked me up again and ran in. When the doctors saw my condition they pointed for him to carry me into a room. For the next hour or so, I don't remember how long it was, the doctors did tests and scans. Killian held my hand the whole time and whispered comforting words in my ear. A doctor came in once they were done and said,

"I'm very sorry, but you've lost the baby, you've had a miscarriage. I'll give you two a moment"

He left the room and tears slipped down my cheek.

"I'm-I'm so so s-sorry" I said in between sobs. Killian pulled me into a hug and stroked my hair.

"What are you sorry for? You did nothing wrong, it wasn't your fault"

"I must have done something wrong!"

"I don't know why these things happen Emma, but they just do, and there's nothing we can do about it"

**Killian POV**

When I heard that we lost it, I couldn't believe it. Why? Was there something we could have done? Was it our fault? I looked over to Emma and saw she was crying.

"I'm-I'm so so s-sorry" She said gasping. I pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair. I felt horrible but she must have felt worse because the baby was inside her. She had a bond with the child before it was even born that no one else, not even me, could have. After she fell asleep, I decided to call her parents because I though they deserved to know.

"Hello?"

"Killian? It's 3:30 in the morning!"

"I know, I'm sorry"

"What did you want?"

"I need you to come to the hospital"

"Why? What's happened?"

"Emma, she-she had a miscarriage. We lost the baby" I mumbled, a tear slipping down my cheek.

About 10 minutes later I saw Mary Margaret and David walk into the waiting room. I stroked Emma's hair and just watched her. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. I walked out the room to see her parents. They walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I was a bit taken back because we weren't the best of friends, but I embraced the two of them and smiled. When they pulled away, I realised I had started crying. They looked at me sympathetically and just said,

"It's okay to be sad you know. They're not going to expect you to be bright eyed and have a big smile" Mary Margaret said softly.

"I know, it's just, it's just Emma needs me to be strong right now, so that's what I'm going to do"

"Can we see her?"

"Urm sure. She asleep but you can wake her up and say hello or whatever"

"Okay thanks mate" David said patting me on the shoulder.

When they walked in the room, I saw Emma sit up and hug them both so tightly, I thought she would never let go. I decided to give them some privacy and go and get a drink. I rubbed my eyes and hoped they didn't look too red and puffy.

As I gulped back the warm liquid I spat it out in disgust. What was this vile substance? I saw it labeled 'Coffee'. It burned the back of my throat and left a metallic taste in my mouth. It might even be worse than that blue wobbling monstrosity they gave me when I was hit by the car. I decided to go back to see Emma and show my support. As I walked back in the room, I was beckoned over by Emma. Confused, I walked over and didn't expect her to throw her arms around my shoulders.

"Whoah Swan, you took me by surprise!"

She let out a small chuckle and rested her head in the crook of my neck.

"We'll leave you two to it" Said David.

"Are you going to come back later?"

"Of course! I'll tell Henry and Regina to come round later. I'm sure Belle and Ruby will want to come too"

"Bye mom, bye dad"

Once they left, I turned to Emma and asked if she was okay?"

"Not really but I'll be better if you come and lay next to me"

"As you wish m'lady" I laughed and climbed on the bed. We were position so I had my arms around her waist and her back against my chest. I rested my head against her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"You need to rest up love"

"I will on one condition. Promise you'll stay with me, I don't want to feel like I've lost you too"

"Of course love, I wouldn't want it any other way"

We settled down and were soon fast asleep. We stayed like this for a couple of hours until a nurse came in and told us visiting hours were about to start and there were people waiting to us.

"You ready to face them?"

"I don't know if I can Killian"

"You're not doing it alone, you have me and all your family"

"I love you Killian"

"I love you too Emma"


	2. Chapter 2

**Killian POV**

We finally got the all clear to go home. The doctors and nurses apologised for our loss. We drove home in silence. Neither of us tried to start a conversation. Anyway, I wouldn't know what to say. We walked in to the flat and chucked our coats and shoes on the floor. Emma didn't say anything and just walked off to our room and shut the door. I sighed heavily and followed. She had started to get ready for bed and walked into the bathroom. I looked over to the bed and suddenly saw the red sheets.

"Shit" I muttered under my breath. I quickly deposited of them and put fresh ones in their place. When she walked out she didn't say anything, didn't even look at me. I felt hurt because I didn't want her to have to go through this alone.

"Hey, you can talk to me you know"

"I'm just not in a talking mood right now"

"Oh, okay"I said quietly, not knowing what to do. I just got into bed and stared up at the ceiling. About an hour later I tuned over to face Emma and saw her sleeping peacefully, like nothing had happened. I couldn't sleep so I got up and wondered round the apartment. I tried watching TV but I wasn't paying attention so I switched it off again. I walked through to a room that neither of us had dared go in after the incident. I crept into the room and took in what was around me. It was the babies room. I stroked the blankets in the cot and flicked the mobile above. It was so beautiful and wasn't going to be used. I trudged over to the arm chair and collapsed into it. I cried a bit, pleased to have my own space to comprehend the situation. I closed my eyes and let sleep overtake me. I woke up to Emma calling my name. I wanted to be there for her, I knew I was a coward, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't face her. She's better off without me anyway. Neal or Graham would have known what to do right now, but not me. No. I'm a useless pirate. She carried on calling me and I prayed she wouldn't find me. Eventually she gave up and I heard the door to the apartment shut. She must have gone out. I breathed out, not knowing i was holding my breath the whole time. I opened the door to the bedroom and glanced around me, hoping she wasn't there. No she wasn't. I decided I needed to go to the place where I felt most at home. The docks.

About an hour later I was sat down on the docks, just watching the waves lap against the boats.

"Killian?"

Oh crap. She had found me.

"Killian! Where were you? I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Maybe I didn't want to be found"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"It doesn't matter Emma"

"It does, it matters to me"

"I said no!"

"Jesus Killian! What's got into you!"

"Nothing" I mumbled and got up and started to storm off. Emma grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

"Hey, hey, calm down. Tell me what's wrong"

"You're gonna hate me for it"

"I swear I won't hate you for whatever you say"

"I'm glad we lost the baby"

"What!?"

"I mean I'm sad of course but maybe it's for the better. I'd screw it up anyway. You saw what happened with Henry, when Neal cleared off. I don't want that happening to my child. Because I know that when the going gets tough, I will become a coward and run away. I'll just do what happened when Milah died. Drink my troubles away and become the screwed up person I am today. Look at me. Thankful our kid died!"

Emma said nothing. She just stared at me, her eyes drilling deep into my head. I looked down to the floor uncomfortably, then she grabbed my chin and pulled it up so I was looking at her again.

"I don't hate you. I love you. Do you know how many times I've doubted myself, how many times I said I couldn't do this? It's natural Killian. It's your first child and it's sort of the first time for me too because I missed Henry growing up"

"You don't hate me?"

"Of course not! How could I? I love you so much that when you're gone, I feel like half of me is missing. If you don't want to have a kid, then that's fine, it's up to you. But we have been given a second chance. For us both to become the heroes that even the story books couldn't predict"

"Don't do this Emma! Don't kid yourself! You're making this harder than it already is. I'm a villain and you know it. Villains don't get happy endings. I tried to change but it backfired! I-I…" I couldn't finish my sentence because I just broke down crying. I didn't mean to, I couldn't help it but I carried on sobbing. Emma pulled me into a tight hug and I cried into her shoulders.

"I'm so sorry Emma, for everything"

"Killian you did nothing wrong"

"I ruined it for everyone"

"No, you made it better. I'm gonna take you home and you can rest"

I don't really remember the rest of it because I felt weak after my breakdown.

**Emma POV**

It pained me to see him like this. I wanted my cheeky, flirtatious pirate back. You could always trust him to lighten up the mood or to make you feel better. He had a cheeky smile that used to grin goofily if he told a joke. I think the thing I missed most was his eyes though. His deep blue, sparkling eyes. Whenever I looked into them I forgot what I was doing and was just glad I was here now to see them. He was the one I turned to because he's the only one who stuck by me after all the shit I put him through. I just wanted him back in my arms.

When we got home, he collapsed on the sofa and curled up. I sat with him and stroked his hair, whispering comforting words into his ear. He had done this so many times for me, I though I should repay the favour. We just lay there, holding each other in our arms and I knew right then that this was enough. It was enough for me.


End file.
